December Is Going To Be Heavy


Face it. Wow, December is going to be a heavy month with hard deadlines, stresses, big events, cookouts, big books, music, more music, metal, more metal, beer and/or spiked egg nog, Uncle Bob or Rob or whoever, etc., etc. and I’m just beginning.


Have you read a good book lately? Have you listened to good music lately? These questions belong together in the same paragraph and I’m going to explain.


Bob Dylan’s award is important to literature. A musician winning any international literary award is a big deal. He creates new poetic expressions within the great old American song tradition. He could visualize with rhythm and paint with his words. “Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat” is a song I’ve been studying lately from his 1966 album Blonde on Blonde. In the song, Dylan’s lyrics affectionately ridicule a female fashion victim who wears a leopard-skin pillbox-hat. The pillbox hat, a popular, highly fashionable ladies hat in the United States in the early to mid 1960s and most famously worn by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is unpopular again and it’s cool. Dylan satirically crosses a high-fashion image with leopard-skin material, perceived as more downmarket and vulgar and doing it with some great hyphenated words.


Never-mind Bob Dylan’s son or Johnny Cash’s son, SOBs don’t really matter in the bigger picture. "I’m Not There" is movie about Bob. Haven’t seen the movie, but it’s a pretty cool premise. Why not make a movie about yourself and not show up for the movie? Why not glorify cool in a world of global warming where everything is uncool and not-so-bad-funky-ass-shit is actually whatever we want it to be?


I’m halfway through Naked Lunch. It's like Shakespeare naked abusing the art of language. Don’t be fooled whether or not it’s good writing. There’s texture and rhythm from his rule-breaking writing methods and distant profane observations. I appreciate the way William S. Burroughs and Bob Dylan expose aliases. However, Burroughs brilliantly concocts characters from the shady depths of depravity.


Salvador Hassan O'Leary, alias The Shoe Store Kid, alias Wrong Way Marv, alias After Birth Leary, alias Slunky Pete, alias Placenta Juan, alias K.Y. Ahmed, alias El Chinche, alias El Culito, etc., etc. for fifteen solid pages of dossier, first tangled with the law in NYC where he was traveling with a character known to the Brooklyn police as Blubber Wilson, who hustled goof ball money shaking down fetishists in shoe stores. (Burroughs, 1959, p. 131)


The more I read Burroughs, the more I wonder who in the book is more crazy. Apparently, the bastard self-researched the book. I watched a fascinating interview with him from the CBC where he basically admits that he writes with a dark soul. And it’s worked for him. Face it. These are dark times and we're all under the cover of darkness. I put the finishing touches to Have Yourself A Very Chaucerian Christmas from The Great Beyond.


But December won’t go gently into the night and it’s going to get heavy. Real heavy. Help yourself to seconds and thirds and more. Beyond The Blue Kite will be published with Pen Name Publishing and I’m officially on the list of 2017 Authors ready to blow your mind. My books are not fluff and explore the true spirit of youth in all its darkness. If you’re looking for the ultimate cake recipe, I suggest discovering the most magical of alias names. Andrew “Voodoo” Walters can feed your soul with blues from Cakewalk. And I’m not kidding about the blues. If I could magically become a musician, I’d give my band an alias and produce heavy metal blues. In the meantime, I'm every shade of blue and listening to Boogie Man.

Sorry if you're wanting a blog story about how I won Super Bowl tickets. You’re not going to get a story about how I exchanged Super Bowl tickets with Ohio University students to see the Bobcats play in the MAC Football Championship at Ford Field in Detroit. Fun fiction can be fun, but let’s not get overly crazy cool with a jolly good idea for a series of books that could cost Sir Terry Pratchett his knighthood. Let’s talk about good writing. Let’s talk about Beyond The Blue Kite. Let’s go above and beyond.


Or I could write a story on Instagram. Nah, it's been done before.

Skedaddles, I'm pretty sure I know what hasn't been done before.

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