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The Fart Of Fiction, No. 5

Forcing yourself to write is similar to pressing out a fart. Search deep inside yourself and dig for energy to make beautiful noise. There's a metal chair in the kitchen. Sit your ass down, eat pork and beans before it gets cold, watch emotional pornography on TV, before you read, and before you write down the mind's foul art.

Sure, farting feels good. But if you're in search of more words, thesauruses are beautiful things. Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor and the enemy of the writer. However, for any writer, the ability to look at a sentence and see what can be altered, revised, expanded or cut is essential. It’s satisfying to see sentences finally snap into place, emerging more polished, clear, economical, and sharp. It's a long process and there needs to be patience and music to get you through the process and keep you alive in the end.

Writing is sometimes scary. You stare at a blank page, dying to describe the ghost and you drape a white towel over your head just for amusement. The procrastination is killing you, but there's another point of view and the untold monologue. The theme of Halloween is a writing prompt.

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