Beyond The Rum Diary

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The Fart Of Fiction No. 12

Get the fuck off Twitter and write. Patton Oswalt tweets: "Whew! Twitter account fixed. I got hacked earlier today but it’s all fixed now ***I HAVE A FAT BUTT ANB I POO OUT MY BUTT AND BUTT BUTT***" This is high art, but it's material that should belong to a random publisher. No doubt, Patton is onto some happy poetry here. But don't put all your eggs in Twitter's basket. If you're not writing, you're querying agents and publishers and not always waiting for the next Twitter pitch to find interest in your material. It's called the Twitter Trap. The bird grabs hold of the mind and strangles the soul. Writers need a platform, but make time for writing. When writing on Twitter or off-line, don'

The Fart Of Fiction No. 11

Just write. Don't be the lazy bum not doing the work. Eventually the fart catches up to you and it reeks. Man, will it stink. Establish a routine. It's not realistic to write every day, but set goals and achieve them. I'm a big fan of to-do lists. I'm a bigger fan of music. Set the radio station high or low on the dial and start making lists of what you want to accomplish. The new day is on the funky horizon. Currently I'm in the listening phase of a diligent writing, reading and listening routine. But soon enough, the listening will be over; and I'll be reading, observing and thinking more. Binge-write and the writing will flow, like cow manure in a barn full of cows. Sure, it's been slow-g

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